; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
