Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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