I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
