NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
