My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
