that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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