I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
