Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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