"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
pop tarts are not kleenex
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
