Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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