Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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