We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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