you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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