We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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