KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
