What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize