I CAN MOONWALK!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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