And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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