you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
