the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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