I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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