are you still at the devil's house?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
