My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
