What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I believe in your delicious
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
