Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
