i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
