We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
