Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
