Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
