That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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