Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
