Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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