No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
