I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
