as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
