After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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