He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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