If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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