thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
