What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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