Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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