The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm at about main and main street
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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