Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
