just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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