oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
