Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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