I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
