Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
