the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
