brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
