found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
