My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
