I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
