im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I came so hard my ears popped.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
