it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
