Duck Duck Cougar?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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