In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
